"There are less people here who want to do Bligh" "Going from 100% to 100% ain't less"

Hosford: "Will! I'll miss you!"
Will: "I'll miss you too, whatever-your-name-is."

I stole one of my sister's Ferrero Rochers. Oh noes, I'm gonna be fined for it.

Hargreaves: "Hmm I just told Jenny my penis size"
Jenny: "random, what's 8 inches in cm"

"I knew as soon as Coleman walked into drama with a mini-skateboard and two plastic swords we wouldn't get any work done" - Merry

"Yeah I got 'Crime of the Century' burnt on CD."
"How ironic."

"I would have sex with this bike" - James Hosford

"Should I put my finger in this liquid nitrogen?" - Mr Rush

"Quick! Take a photo of the Jesus teacher!" "Don't call him that, his name is Mr. Christ"

Bligh, Carlin, Tony and I performed "Transmission". I was on vocals, which was unfortunate as I only remembered the first two lines.

There was a line in Shakespeare's "Antony and Cleopatra" about how Caesar "ploughed [Cleopatra], and she cropped." Good ol' inneundo. Carlin was like "Wait, does that mean Caesar did it with his sister?" "Carlin, could you please reword that sentence." "Does that mean Caesar ploughed his sister?"

Later on, "So you see Cleopatra is showing genuine feelings for Antony, but Antony seems unphased by it all, why do you think that is?" "He was only interested in the ploughing."

"I hate Big Brother...but I like the housemate who looks like Steve Perry"

i never explained that today like i meant too did i?
our verbal 'altercation' at the start of 6th?
what
the
fuck
thats a no

"I pissed in your pool, Morgan."
"No you haven't, you've never been swimming in my pool!"
"I still pissed in it."

Apparently Toby's best friend is Toby's brother.

-An Apt Description of King Crimson-
and bruford has like twizzle stick drumsticks
"d00d i need to go on stage in 3 minutes and i hvae no sticks!" "if you have no sticks, stop searching for sticks until you find them" "ZIPZIPZABOO! here take these chopsticks! *elephant noise*" "I have a moustache"

"Muse are pretty funky"

Faheem walked into a locker. Made more hilarious by the fact that he was standing right next to it.

Siobhan got several people on the bus to inform Red Morgan that he is a slut. Including Wesley Willis. Except she accidentally thought Jim was Morgan. "Morgan," Jim looked up, "*point* you are a slut!" My stomach hurt from laughing.

Our Maths teacher stole Faheem's chips.

"I did my homework, but Morgan stole it and handed it in as his" - Jim

Last Friday I got 7 awesome records from our record-prowling trip. Hosford got none.


I saw a Muse album at Big W for $10, and a Genesis dvd for $10. But I don't have $20!!!

mike is being awfully... Stevey
and tony is being VERY tony
wow those 2 lines are the epitomy of reviewing professionalism

"If you could replace any member of the Beatles with any other musician what would it be?"
"Ringo. With Carl Palmer."
"Actually, I'd replace all of them with Carl Palmer."

"I'll only say this one time, I'm not dating a transexual!" - Siobhan

"if i walked past bill bruford in the street i'd kick myself in the balls to see if i was awake" Horsefood

"I'm going to have sexual relations with The Man" - Hosford

"If you don't stop hitting on me I'll hunt you down" - Little Tom

In English the teacher mentioned a movie she'd recently seen; "It had a cool teacher in it! I love movies with cool teachers."

Dave replied, "Yeah I love fiction too."

We found a white army man figurine in the quad, so he guarded Sam's bag during assembly and Hosford professed his love to it.

"Ms Reilly is like a nasal, annoying, australian version of Karen Hayes"
"except I wouldn't do Mrs Reilly"

"I haven't heard anything by Kate Bush, but she seems dykey enough" - Siobhette

Red Morgan spilled peaches on me.

Mr Harrison "I still haven't got 170 sport selection sheets in"
Hosford "I don't think he realises yr 12 doesn't do sport"

"When I get a car of my own we can drag race each other to win Morgan's heart" - Jim to me

"How would you describe this piece of music?"
"Medieval robots fighting bush rangers" - Bligh

"I saw a book in the library about Tom Cruise....it was called Tom Cruise" - Ben

"Spinks, your phone is exactly the same as mine. What does it mean when it makes this woodblock sound?"

"That your phone swallowed a woodblock?"

I broke my E string today
oh noes
if you broke your other E string you couldve said
"oh no Es!"

Jim tried to open the bus door as it was raining and the door wouldn't open. He forcibly grabbed the edge of the door with both hands and tried to pull it open, only to find the bus driver was on the bus. Haha.

"Where you were yesterday?" - Mathsteacher
"At home."

"It's so satisfying to fail" - Hosford

Jim threw a bit of plastic from one of the seats at Morgan, it sconed him in the side of the head and ricocheted towards the back seat. I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt.

Georgia wrote about nude calendars in her PE test.

"Russia is a tad huge"

Lewin "raped" his German test, and was jumping about and rubbing his breasts in elation.

I didn't study for Maths Extension and still went well. I remembered one of the methods to a question while I was doing the question.

Best headline ever: "Chocolate Jesus offends Christians."

"I'm an idiot" - Physics teacher

I watched a cardboard box duel between two year seven/eighters. (Who cares, it's practically the same year anyway.)

Red Morgan accused Jimmeh of starring in the movie "Clitty Clitty Bang Bang".

I rocked out at school. The beetches won. Coincidence? I think not.

I made a succession of "lame" jokes in drama. The list of topics for our group performance were on the board. One was "comfort zone". I retorted "We should do a scene about Sonic the Hedgehog in Comfort Zone."

Another, "In the Glasshouse" produced "Hehe grasshouse, the Asian version."

"If I were an x I would want to be square rooted" - Mr Curran

I saw Foreigner on Countdown.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . >)

"Your hair looks like that of an 80s British female pop star" - Jimmeh

When Jim and Red Morgan got drunk at a party, Eden danced with Morgan and Jim who was about a metre away shouted out "HEY MORGAN! TELL HER SHE'S A [copulating] BITCH AND SHE SHOULD [copulate] OFF!"

Morgan walked calmly over to Jim and said "Next time you shouldn't be so direct."

I heard Talking Heads, Icehouse and Billy Idol on the radio.

Not much exciting happened on the bus. I forgot all the funny bits. Morgan was fingering Siobhan's shirt.

"Is the transvestite on the bus?"
"Yeah he's right over there." *points to Jim*

Morgan discovered that the main character of the original series of Round the Twist has a crush on a member of Morgan's favourite obscure 80s band "I'm Talking" in one episode.

Turns out my Heat of the Moment solo is off. I only have two days to correct this.

!

"I love Josh King the way a man loves a woman"

I wrote that title as one of the "pick-it-up" lines in the drama game "pick-it-up" (where you play out a scene with a pile of written down phrases from the audience in the middle of the stage, someone says pick-it-up and they pick up one and read it). Entire class burst out laughing after Pittman admitted his unrequited love.

Hosford was chatting with Dani and Magin walked past and said "Hos, didn't know you had a daughter."

About sine curve graphs: "Never go straight for too long. Imagine you're like a World War 2 fighter pilot...and [the marker] is the red baron. Nevermind that he was a World War 1 figure. Mr History will be rolling in his grave." (Mr History was still alive at this point.)

Hosford got punk'd by Nathan "Madd Fagget" Casey and others, it was hilarious. They led him to believe the resident weird kid no one likes was scheming to take his place as statsman for the rugby.

I watched a Yes concert today. It was acesome.

Since Jim is Grace Jones and I'm now Deborah Harry, it's only fitting that Red Morgan is Toyah Wilcox.

I heard "No Lies" played on two different stations within half an hour. The last time I had that happen to me with a good 80s song was when "Owner of a Lonely Heart" was played 3 times in the space of an hour; two were on simultaneously.

Mark and Lara laughed at our english teacher because her old school's emblem had a shovel on it.

"This may sound funny, but I don't remember 'I Don't Remember'."

Apparently one of Mr. Rush's Canadian colleagues offered this advice in a drugs-are-bad lecture: "I have some friends in Vancouver who do crystal meth...there are a lot better ways to get high for a lot cheaper."

Ms Sinclair said "I have a man coming over to my house" and Carlin interrupted with a teenage-girl-like "oooh". "Let me finish, I have a man coming over to my house to install the airconditioning." "Is that what you call it," Carlin responded.

Jenny said that Hosford's display picture (of Peter Gabriel in the flower costume)'s eyes moved.

Mr Mathsteacher worshipped a graph domain.

The bus driver drove straight past Chad and D. Kidd this morning. Hilarious. For the first time in at least a year, there were two spare seats so I didn't have to sit next to Jim or Red Morgan.

Tram Party

On our way to the party we listened to "Awaken" in the car. The song started as soon as we left Dave's place, and managed to finish just as we got to Carlin's house.

We got to practice in the house before the stuff was moved out to the tram, Little Room had a good response to Indiscipline, and my voice sounded surprisingly good (similar to Adrian Belew). Indiscipline was also received well during the actual performance.

Carlin's girlfriend's band were on before us, they played a cover of Interpol's "Evil" that I thought was cool. We played well, apart from a few slight problems, and I got Magin to record the set for me. Got some interesting crowd dialogue as well; "I got your pillow Liz" "It's mine ya poof" "I got it for LIZ!"

Carlin and Bligh's band, Little Room, were good, although they seemed to play a very short set. Mark W did some cool Careful with that Axe Eugene-style screaming, and Bligh punched a microphone.

Hosford lost his hat.

Hosford made me spill my Coke. Dave and Hosford had a light-sabre battle with drumsticks and Dave's bass. Hosford implied that someone "enjoyed their maths" in the food bowls, to which Dave said "Wow this tastes like manjuice."

And remember, fare evasion is stealing.

"Quit your bitchin', Predny"

There was this NXFM promotion in the morning where to get funding for their netball team some girls stood outside EnergyAustralia Stadium and held up an advertising sign. So as we drove past I flashed them. But my stupid sisters wouldn't lend me earphones so I couldn't hear if I was radio-famous.

In the afternoon some kid who was only about 6 years old was riding his bike along this cement path outside his house. It was still being built so it ended abruptly and there was about an inch drop to the dirt. We all knew the kid was going to stack it but that didn't stop at least 6 people from laughing at it when it happened.

So the kid stood up, saw that a bus full of high-schoolers was laughing at him, and FLIPPED US OFF. I hilaritied myself.

I played Karn Evil 9 for my viva voce. You know, the song that goes for 30 minutes and has a 4-minute piano solo.

Hosford kept getting hugged by Dani, so I kept telling him to "cop a feel". I ended up grabbing his arm and forcing him to cop one.

Our maths lesson got distracted by Frank (janitor)'s lawnmower. So for the next example of explaining a new type of "degrees" thing for circles the maths teacher was like "So if Frank drove around 360 degrees, it would say on his odometer 2-Pi." We laughed. "That's why he never tells you how far he's driven, coz he doesn't understand pi."

There was writing on the wall (chalkboard) for at least 15 minutes, and as soon as it was getting rubbed out Egg groaned, "I haven't got it written down!"

Hosford and Dani mysteriously disappeared, so while we were discussing them like the gossiping women we are Spinks said "You know, I seriously think Hosford will score with her." And I said "That's funny, coz he thinks the same way." Then we laughed at Sam for his red hair.

"Strip clubs are more important than video games, Stick"

Since Jim is Grace Jones, we figured out Red Morgan is Sally Smith and I'm Alice Brown.

I finally found out where this gig is gonna be. We've figured out pretty much everything (apart from the actual songs we're playing).

Tory: What's the gay lisp sound like?
Naz: It's how your brother talks.

Apparently at the gig Josh King is going to stand up the front screaming "HOSSIE'S POSSIE".

Our english teacher walked into class yesterday and told us about a book she's reading that was about Ovid, who is the main character of the crappy HSC book we have to read. "So yeah, he's an actual person!" Dave turned to me and said "She's finally caught up with the rest of the class."

Spinks: You're the butt of every joke.
Sam: That sounded kinda gay.
Spinks: Yeah. Hosford's the joke.

"David Bowie? You mean that Ziggy Stardust poof?"

I shall write the following in script format, keeping in with the "I'm doing scriptwriting for drama" thing.

Setting: Drama
Tori: Can I do my group logbook and individual logbook in the same book? Coz I really like this one and I can't get another one coz I don't know where I got it from.
Mel: I saw you in Officeworks yesterday.
Someone: omg Mel's stalking you!
Tori: (Looks at Holly) She's like Hossie to you.
Cue Nazza and Spinks uproarious laughter

James: Have you seen his Myspace? His quote thing is "Holly can suck my weiner."

Yeah, I had a sore stomach from laughing so hard, and Spinks was in tears. Then we remembered how the drama teacher ripped into him devastatingly for a brief performance he did and he was in tears for a different reason. :P

One of the questions in the physics textbook says "Asses the advantage" instead of the obvious Assess. The funny bit is the physics teacher pointed it out to us for a laugh.

Tonight (tonight, tonight, whoa-oh) they finally have the best video of 2006 on Rage, just before 3am. I'm so taping it.

"I want my headphones back."
"Yeah and I want an ice cream but you don't see me with one."
"I said you could have them for the day."
"Yeah well the day isn't over yet is it."

Morgan was calling James "Grace" (after Grace Jones, the androgynous black woman) so he said "What, are you Will?"

I'm sure a plethora more of funny shit happened, but well I fell asleep this afternoon and I don't remember, I don't recall anything at all. Hall & Oates were on Vh1's Countdown special.

"5-3, Toronto Canadiens versus Arabian Kiwis"

Spinks admitted to wanting to visit Mr. Dyker, a character whose specialisation is in removing genitals. ;)

We got kicked out of the music rooms during the sport periods, so we went and played hockey.

We found a quote in one of Siobhan's magazines of some girl who said "I don't think it was rape coz it was my boyfriend, and I don't think he heard me say 'No' because he had his hand on my mouth."

The English teacher said aloud "I need a drink" during a particularly wearisome lesson. Apparently Nathan Casey is her groupie.

It seems that we will get a total 0 hours of practice between now and the gig we're playing at. Which is scary, because i) our rhythm section's off, ii) we have only 3 songs completely downpat from a setlist of about 7, iii) I need to get my guitar fixed, iiii) Hos doesn't have a drumkit to practice on, iiiii) none of us are sure enough of our singing ability iiiiii) there'll be people at this gig so we have to actually perform well.

Insert a random Hosford quote that incorporates sex. (I forgot all the actual quotes.)

Jim was conversing with a primary school kid on the bus, he said "You know I'm actually only 13. I'm into Pokémon and shit." Least convincing 13-year-old ever.

"get your hands off my sister's ovaries"

On the bus Sibby asked "Does anybody miss Bryce?" Tyler pissed himself laughing.

On a related note, apparently in a month or so the Busmen (+1) are going to see a movie at the drive-in at Siobhan's insistence.

On a related note, A sharp.

I watched Miami Vice on the weekend. Which sparked an idea inside me like the generations need. Morgan, Sibby and I (and others I guess) are going to bring back the 80s.

Morgan decided to tell absolutely everyone of this stich-inducing anecdote of how his sister said "I'd like one of them" referring to one of the high-rise building apartments, and he said "What a taxi?" mistaking her enthusiasm as being directed towards a taxi that drove past.

Stick was reading a book called "Bono on Bono". I laughed.

More funny stuff happened but my fascist sister wants to get on. So long!

I might like you better if we slept together

I can't remember much of yesterday.

Jim: Emily's coming over to my house on Saturday.
Naz: You gonna score?
Red: Haha good joke.

Toby ran past today so I yelled "Stampede".

Did Heat of the Moment for my music performance. It went well, considering how bad I went last time. We're going to perform at Carlin and Bligh's band's demo launch.

The bus hit one of those "refugee island" thingos in the middle of the road that street-crossers stand on so I bumped my head against the window and everyone laughed.

Red Morgan had to get off at the uni and meet his (and Jim's) friend Euan, Jim joked that they were lovers and Brittany believed them.

I got a great haul off Morgan the other day; an MP3 cd (which unfortunately doesn't work properly), David Bowie's Best Of and the first season of Miami Vice.

Jim saw a woman and her child riding a motor scooter so he laughed loudly.

I threw a ball and it hit Hosford in the legs-join area and IT HIT EGG IN THE FACE. Not really but that reminded me of the time the ball HIT EGG IN THE FACE. I found a hilariously seedy line in one of my favourite songs that mentions egg and rape in the same sentence.

I watched as half of Lotus (Cal, Josh and Josh) pulled up outside school in a P-plate car. The driver opened the boot, and SOMEONE CLIMBED OUT OF IT. Tossford will probably point out who it is in his comment.

I spent my physics test revision period reading a book on the history of rock music. I saw a picture of The Police and said "Hey it's our band, except they have a good drummer." They also mentioned King Crimson and Peter Gabriel three times.

Music is like candy. You throw away the wrappers.

In some roundabout way involving the song "Jesus He Knows Me" Sam got compared to Jesus. To test this hypothesis I said "Sam, are you soft on crime?" (Everyone knows Jesus is.) After a few moments of silence, Dani stated "He's always soft."

Jim held Morgan's hair hostage and forced him to write a formal letter informing the world that he was, always will be and currently is shit.

The discussion on the bus turned to Morgan dying (as it often does), when it was revealed that Jim wouldn't cry if Morgan died. Jim asked Sibby if she would, to which she replied "Yeah"; "What about if I died?"
"Yeah"
"What about if that kid over there *points to a new guy* died?"
"No, but I'd still feel bad -"
"Hey, kid, did you know Siobhan wouldn't care if you died?"

Siob then attacked him with a great fervour, amid uproarious laughter.

I got slapped by a slapper.

"Did you just call your watch a slut?" - Siobhan

Siobhan mentioned that Brooke's bra size is AA, the smallest available (Siobhan said it, not me). I said "That's not the only thing she needs AAs for."

Mr Mathsteacher was explaining a way to imagine 3D graphs on a number line (for a topic that anyone who hasn't done year 12 isn't worth explaining to) and said "Just imagine a spit-roast coming out of the [page]." What he didn't realise was that it's common knowledge that Aaliyah was "spit-roasted" by two guys, if you get my drift. The entire class erupted into laughter.

Reagan, being his usual useless annoying self, left his DS lying on his seat. Chad walked up, grabbed it without making any attempt to conceal his actions, and walked off with it. He also felt me up but that's irrelevant. ;)

Red Morgan waved to Allie, who flipped him off.

Dani saw Dave and I waiting to sign off on the free period roll, and said "Dave and Nazza sitting in a tree, kay-eye-aitch-zed-gee-eye-en-gee." Dave replied "Yeah, we're ki*phlegm*ing like champs!"

New Zealand one twice in a row! For once.

I stayed up till 4 taping some videos on Rage. The scary thing was that I woke up at 9am. Stupid sleep schedule, why couldn't you have done that when I needed to wake up at 9am and couldn't get to sleep before 4. Oh well.

I watched the "Big Day Out" special on V, expecting to at least see one of the three decent acts (Tool, Mars Volta, Muse) played. Instead they decided to give me 4 hours of My Chemical Romance, Scribe and Jet. If I'd known that they would've played such "high quality" (note the sarcasm) stuff I would've watched the Duran Duran documentary instead.

Hosford came up with a theory based on a lyric from Emerson, Lake & Palmer's "Still...You Turn Me On" that in the line "Someone get me a ladder" ladder is a euphemism for the penis. Makes the album title "The Ladder" kind of creepy.

AAARGH

Fucking fucking fucking fucking little fucking fucking little fucking fucking little fuckers, yeah. Firefox froze on me (or more accurately, a website debunking polygraphs was a shit) and closed while I was halfway through a post. Fucking figures, the one time I actually remember all the funny shit that happens.

"Do I have fat eyes?" - Siobhan

Jim played both Morgan and I some of his personal rap collection. Biatch.

Sam on his guitar teacher: "He wants me to do things with my left-hand..."

Discussing violence against women, Pelzer was commenting that there's never any violence against men campaigns. Renae said "I've only seen one time when a woman was fighting a man. Steph and Nathan Casey."

I ninja-slapped Red Morgan. He never saw it coming.

Siobhan's book said "DATS" so I added "HIT" to the end.

"You can't laugh at a hearse!" - Morgan to Jim

"I love Geddy Lee's feet" - Hosford

Morgan told me a story of one of Mansell's friends, who being strapped for cash decided to steal a phone box to get the money inside. Unfortunately he didn't have a car, so he had to push it home on foot. The police found where it was by following the drag marks on the ground.

I slap-drummed on Morgan's face in time with Phil Collins.


Mansell said if he could kick the asses of any band in the world, his choice would be Genesis. Puts an interesting image in your head; Peter Gabriel getting booted in the butt.

"Happy VD"

On my way to the bathroom at 2am I accidentally bashed my head against the door knob. It was a pretty fair indication of the day to come.

For some fucked up reason they didn't get in any more roses, so both Hosford and I were screwed over. Come to think of it, he still owes me my money.

During the band rehearsals, let's just say things didn't go well at all. Highlights (lowlights) include us not managing to play a full song all the way through and Hosford throwing half of the (school owned) kit to the floor. It was so bad that I lost my faith in the band, and I'm the over-optimistic guy.

I went for a walk during my free period, which The Man is trying to make into my careers lesson. Fuck careers. I can't be bothered finishing this brick post.

"I only gave him a blowjob once!" - Spinks

I've been struck with the disastrous "forget everything good that ever happened to you" virus again.

Hosford walked into the room where they were selling Valentines roses and crap with the intention of buying one. It just so happened that the recepient of his rose was the person in charge of the roses. Owned!

Apparently Hosford has a light-sabre wang.

Apparently Spinks got burned swiftly. The conversation had turned to a particular harlot who got it on several times at a party he was at, Spinks said "Thank God she didn't come onto me" to which Fincher replied "Yeah she kept her standards."

"he got annoyed at me only once, when i was trying to burn down the classroom" - Dave

<DracoNSlayer> if you dont want to be the sex god, we could give the job to hosford, but then wed have a reputation of the band with a sex god with no penis

<Nazza> actually i think phil might be, coz u know all the women love him for some strange reason
<Nazza> and he broke up with his wife to marry that 15-yr-old girl
<DracoNSlayer> who didnt
<Nazza> but he did it by fax
<banjo4evar> WHOA I CAN DO THAT
<banjo4evar> Keep it up, keep it up (ad infinitum)
<Nazza> WHAT
<Nazza> oh i thought u were going to divorce ur wife by fax
<DracoNSlayer> hosford cant work a fax
<banjo4evar> fuck you
<banjo4evar> i dont have a fax

<DracoNSlayer> i thought about edge for a second but then i realised he was also a guitarist
<Nazza> edge was a drummer?
<Nazza> did he like hit the snare once and loop it through an echo pedal

"She suffocated on her own nipples" - Spinks

Toby said to me today "So bad. Almost as bad as your diet." I was laughing too hard to come up with a good comeback.

Egg got hit in the face with a tennis ball haha.

I made a YouTube account. The first videos I favourited were "That's All" (haha Phil Collins as a hobo) and "Feeling Good (Drunk)" (fucking fucking fucking fucking little fucking fucking little fucking fucking fuckers, yeah!)

I managed to do my drama work all yesterday, the day before it was due. Go me.

A bunch of other Broadmeadowers got on the bus, Morgan said "Why are there all these gay people on the bus?" Jim replied "Because Tory's having a sleepover." Funny thing is, he actually was.

"No I can handle being raped"

One of the shops near the EnergyAustralia Stadium has a little balloon blimp for advertising: "Wow it looks like a blimp but it's actually an air balloon!" As Jim put it. Its rope got snagged on a tree branch and it took a nosedive, prompting him to say "Hey look it's the Hindenburg!"

I said "Hey look a naked man" and both Jim and Red Morgan looked out the window.

Aaliyah: I can't concentrate on my maths work when I know my phone's out there somewhere lost.
Maths Teacher: Yeah, that and about ten thousand other things.

Aaliyah: This is probably a stupid question but -
Maths Teacher: It probably is.

Shock horror! Reagan learned to control the volume of his voice!

Sam's sister's friend Dani came running out of nowhere and jumped onto Sam. She's now known as the "Flying Rapist".

I heard Phil Collins (Something Happened on the Way to Heaven) on the radio.

"I saw that game Lemmings the other day, and you do look like a Lemming" - Jayden to Jordan

Yesterday and today I woke up to ants biting me. That's right there are ants in my bed.

I managed to get to Sanity and buy Black Holes & Revelations, dad wanted me to use my own money but I didn't. As if I'm spending the stash I've built up.

The first week so far has been good, since I haven't heard Reagan's voice (which in all likeliness means he hasn't spoken).

"...But he changed the lyrics to 'fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin little fuckin fucker- yeaaaaaah!' "

"You're crap, I'm telling my sister you like her"

Apparently Jim showed his substitute teacher a seedy porno video on his phone.

The other day I saw some fat guy outside his house so I said "hey it's Don Vito."

In drama we were doing 3 interpretations of a proverb that each group chose from a list, ours was "He who laughs last laughs longest."

Interpretation 1 Literal

Merry tripped, Coleman laughed briefly , I laughed for slightly longer, Spinks collapsed on the floor laughing.

Interpretation 2 Metaphorical

Guy 1: So I ran over your dog yesterday.
Guy 2: Well I got your mum pregnant.

(Spinks collapses on floor laughing)

Interpretation 3 Symbolic

@ # %* ^* &@@*# %#$&amp;^#$^?¿~`&@#%

(Spinks collapses on floor laughing)

Another group was doing something or other (doesn't matter for the story) and one of their interpretations involved a model, who was played by Evan (or Tristan? Who can tell). The teacher afterwards mentioned a curriculum model, to which Spinks said "I'd do a model." "Like that one?" I said, gesturing to Evan/Tristan. Again, not as hilarious as when it happened.

The maths teacher was discussing the "Keeper of the Constant". He explained "The person who forgets to add the constant in the next test will become the keeper of the constant. As you can probably guess" - interrupted by a phone ringing on an unoccupied table, Aaliyah stands up and retrieves it - "are usually careless fools."

"I made friends with Dora the Explorer"

The discussion in English turned to movies. Nath was ripping off some movie or other, and the teacher asked why and he provided an insufficient explanation. Aaliyah replied "Nathan doesn't go to the movies to watch them."

Siobhan said she need to pee so I replied "Don't worry we won't take the piss out of you."

Spinks asked for Hosford's hat, and only explained that he was going to throw it at a year-seven kid after it was too late and the kid was about twenty metres away from the group. So Hosford took off his hat, ran up to the kid and threw his hat at the kid while he was watching.

Don't waste your time or time will waste you

So I've made a new brick after the other one died of asphyxiation. Today was the second day back, so everyone (not just the yr 7, 11 and 12ers) caught the bus and as could be expected it was full. In a moment of genius the school decided to instead of giving us sport or the free periods we would've had while sport was running have us turn up to periods 5 and 6 during the two morning sport periods. And then have to turn up to periods 5 and 6 again during the actual periods 5 and 6. To make things worse next Wednesday is the swimming carnival, which itself is not bad but means the band's weekly practices are not going to happen for a fortnight.

On the bus Jim "Steve" Petersen saw some guy on an electric pedal scooter trying (and failing) to make it up the hill. Everyone was quiet from listening to the bus driver saying something so when he laughed everyone heard. Hilarious. Hmm, that didn't translate as well into print.